Solo Episode - Navigating Change, Grief and loss

This is a solo episode about navigating change, death, and loss.  Changes both in death, loss, shifts of friendships, within our life and our business.  Even positive changes can cause our bodies and nervous system to go haywire. 

In this episode, I talk about:

• Life updates- Reflections on personal experiences and changes over the past year
• Energetic Responsibility as Light Workers
• The importance of connecting with our bodies and regulating the nervous system in times of change
• The Catalyst for Change - One of my Innate Gifts that I support people with
•  Navigating Different Types of Grief- including those related to death, loss, and shifting relationships
• The importance of routines and rituals in providing stability during times of change so you can hold more capacity. 
• Scaling in Life and Business
• Coping with sudden departures (not through death)
• The insights of Virgo season

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Transcript

0:01

Hello. I wanted to take a brief moment and talk about an upcoming offer that I have on this Monday and Tuesday, September 25th and 26th. It was a two part series. If you're listening to this later than September 25th and 26, you can still purchase this as an evergreen series on my website, under the tab called the journey. But prior to that, I hope that if you're listening before then you'll join me in the live. The journey is all about navigating the entire chapter. Of the end of life with our animals. So it's not just the transition of the end of life. That, that moment, the decisions. And navigating that grief thereafter. It's the time that the animals and us realize that. This change is eminent. This will happen. And that happens way before our animals actually hit that end of life point. And there's such a rollercoaster of emotions and so much that we navigate and so much potential and healing and this beautiful time that I want to share with you. I've helped hundreds of people, literally hundreds of people through this journey and having been on that other side of it through my most recent loss with rhythm, I realized that nobody talks about this and this needs to be shared. This, this is profound healing that needs to be talked about. It's$111. It will be recorded for your convenience. If you cannot. I cannot make the lives so i hope that you'll join me on the journey welcome to the untamed soul podcast. I am your host, Rachelle Embry, the founder of radiant vibes. I am a spiritual mentor and intuitive, energetic alchemist for you, your animals, and your soulful business. This is a podcast devoted to soul activation and embodied entrepreneurship. It is an exploration of inspirational humans who are leading the path to a new earth. Along the way, I will share intuitive insight and practical wisdom to inspire infinite potential in every area of your life. I am so excited to have you on this journey so together we can become untamed. Hello my friends and my community, my beautiful people. Um, today is actually Saturday. It is 9 a. m. I have a quiet house and we are at September 23rd as I'm recording this and it's been a minute since I've put a podcast episode out and You'll have to excuse my little bit of raspy voice. I'm drinking my collagen coffee with cinnamon, tumeric, cacao, collagen, and a beauty collagen too for my skin. I'm like obsessed with my skin for those of you that don't know that. So I like have a really, really like. You know, uh, stringent skin, Rotarian, care. And I just, it's one of my, my daily rituals that I love. And, and one of those is this beauty collagen, this beta collagen that I just absolutely love. And I've got my lemon water with some apple cider vinegar. And, yeah, just really in this phase of supporting my body and, You know, getting my body really clear and clean because it has been sort of an exhausting year. You know, I had a lot of beautiful things happen. Um, you know, I met, uh, well, over a year ago. It's a year and a half at this point. My amazing fiance, Ryan. And I feel so blessed to have this. It's such a stellar relationship, you know, and where we just both have the space where we can be ourselves and in the messiness and the gloriness, you know, and there's like no judgment, right. It's just amazing. And so, and then we got engaged, this year, then we have been on the house search and for. Those of you that have bought houses before, you know what this is like. And then also, it wasn't just buying a house, we're blending two families, you know. He has two teenage boys and they're with him part time. And so that was a big adjustment for me. Then he also has a Labrador Retriever, which I think most of you guys that are following this are for new followers. I have Australian shepherds and always have, and I have four of my own Australian shepherds. And, during this time, this whole transition of the move, I lost my oldest., I did have five Aussies and, uh, her name was rhythm and she was 15 and a half. And, you know, that was a, that was a huge loss. Somewhat catastrophic in many ways, even though like I have the healing, I know where it's at, but, you know, that loss has been about five weeks, six weeks at this point. And even yesterday I was looking at an old Instagram post that I shared during that time when we were really navigating her transition. And I just got emotional and it's still very, I might even cry now, very raw to me. Um, even though like I'm at peace with it. I, you know, the grief is it's not like the heavy grief, right? It's a very light grief and many people I'm so gracious because so many people have been commenting and sharing and like, I hope you're doing okay. And the loss of rhythm and it's like, you know, I'm not experiencing grief in. Like the traditional way when I experienced it, when my dad died last year, when my mother died, when I've had, um, you know, my dear friend who was like a real mother to me, died. And then I've, I've, I've done, I've gone through a lot of death and, and grief, and I know that heavy grief all too well, you know, and so. This is this is different. It's a it's a lighter experience. Um, but there's still sadness, right? Because she was such a big part of my life. And I'll recircle back to that in a minute. But, um, you know, also, you know, obviously navigating that loss, and then Having to adjust to a lab, which is such different energy. And I was a groomer for many, many years, owned a grooming salon. I've been around dogs, trained dogs, done the whole enchilada. The like labs are like the breed. Don't hate me. All you Labrador lovers that I was like, I'm never going to get a lab. You know, they're hyper. They're like. Too goofy. They're sort of obnoxious and, um, you know, and it was an adjustment and he, he was, he was, he was a little overweight coming to us and he didn't have the pack dynamics because he was an only dog and, you know, Ryan works full time as many do. So like My dogs have the gift of me working at home. So they're always around somebody and, and that's a blessing, you know, for, for the animals. And so River has fallen into this and he's done really well. And I do enjoy him. Um, he's definitely a little bit more headstrong than I'm used to. So it's an adjustment. And then obviously I was single. I've been living on my own, um, for three and a half years, you know, and Uh, I got really comfortable in my single life. And so, you know, I've had to adjust routines. I've had to adjust, you know, the way that I go about my day and my business. I had so much spaciousness and freedom and one of his boys is in college. So, uh, he comes and goes at different random hours. So, um, one of the things that. I've had to adjust is like when I do podcast recordings, right? Because I can't have the dogs barking. Of course, I mean, they can, but it's just disruptive and I don't edit anything. I don't have desire to go back and do that. I just want this to be simple and, and raw and just what it is. So. Um, yeah, the, the podcast has taken a back seat, but it's always on my mind. So I'm so glad to have this time Saturday morning with my rituals and my lemon water and my coffee and just share with you. And I feel like one of the things that I really want to talk about as I've been navigating all of this, like this transitional time of change. And letting go and, um, so many energetic shifts in my life over the last year in particular, but truthfully, I mean, it's been a decade. I have had some pretty intense Pluto, um, transits. And, uh, for those of you that are not familiar with astrology, I use astrology a lot in my, in my work with radiant vibes. And, one of the things is like knowing the cycles and honoring the cycles that we have cosmically astrologically is so helpful because Pluto is a planet of death and transformation. It is a planet of deep, deep healing. And when you have Challenging transits transits are where the planets are in the sky and how they affect your, your personal chart. Okay. And then your natal chart, your natal chart is stationary. It's, it's a reflection of the time that you were born. It does not change. And where transits are like how the planets are moving in the sky as they affect different planets in your chart. So Pluto's been transiting at some pretty challenging placements. And I've also had Uranus at some pretty challenging placements over the last six years. And, um, and, and Uranus is a planet of great change, sudden awakenings. Um, and, you know, it's quick, it's, it can be quick releases, it can be quick blessings. So it's just been an interesting journey. And as 2024 opens up, I'll have some relief from that plutonic influence, you know, I'm grateful for it, you know, but I'm ready for the ease, you know, there's been the amount of change. I was reflecting with a really good friend over some tea the other day and she was like. I don't think I know anybody that has been through as much change as you have been. Like you, you, it's like you, you're always moving through change. I mean, you know, one of the things is I do, I, I navigate change consistently when people come on board and they connect with me and they work with me, whether it's through the animals or through themselves or their business, guaranteed you're navigating change, you know, and I assist, I'm a catalyst for that, which can sound scary. But it's needed. Right. And most people come to me for one thing. And next thing you know, their whole life is like shifting and sorting because it's their soul at a soul level knows that this is really getting ready to happen. The higher self knows it's getting ready to happen. Their spirit team knows it's getting ready to happen. And it's like, they need the support going through that. So, um, it's a really interesting, you know, uh, journey. And what I found is the best use of that. Is it's really a gift that I have in supporting people and being that catalyst for change. And, and because I've really navigated so much in my life, we all do, but I think it's like, you know, some people go through very certain and specific experiences. So that they can have that experience and know what works, what didn't work. And one of those experiences for me, I believe is grief. I've I've had to navigate and understand grief at many different layers, you know, and grief, not just in the way of a death of losing a loved one. I'm talking grief of, you know, relationships, um, changing, uh, shifting loss of. you know, really important friendships that just suddenly were like, boom, gone, you know, um, and, you know, loss of pets. Uh, I've lost many animals over the decade. Um, and that's just sort of comes with, I think the territory when you're one that. We'll always have a lot of animals. Like I just will. So that's just going to be a natural experience. It's something I will experience more of, you know, but you know, there's also in, in grief, I mean, there's grief of like my body, my body has been shifting and changing, especially over the last year. Um, once my dad died, it was just like this whole huge, um. Shift. And then all of the, the, even though it was exciting times with Ryan, it was a lot of stress on my body. And then I also have in my, my natal chart transit, Saturn, Saturn, the planet of Saturn of responsibility of like where your energy is focusing for, for it's kind of like the father of the Zodiac has been transiting. My six house of daily routines. It's like, you know, it is, um, It's uh, kind of adjusting like your, your responsibilities in your day and. You know, it can feel like an intense amount of pressure because it wants you to like organize those, you know, it wants you to take responsibility and show up and create the foundation. So like I've been immersed in like creating even deeper foundations. I've always been a bigger, big believer in foundations within my business so that it will support my life. And to where I was at, I had those foundations, but there's this next level. And I always feel like scaling and your business is not. About making shit tons of money scaling in your business is about capacity. Um, it's about how you energetically hold capacity in your world, in your life. And so, you know, and we scale in our lives too. And the more responsibility that we take in, we have to scale our capacity to hold that, you know, so I bought an Airbnb earlier this year. And I, I've learned a lot, um, through that experience. I'm now doing more of a midterm rental, which is like a 30 day minimum stay and I love it. It's, uh, it's created a little bit more spaciousness was, um, without the hassle. I still do some short term stuff in there as well, but that was a huge learning thing. And that was a big adjustment and, you know, obviously exciting, but, uh, another. Layer on there of like, Oh, I got to figure this out. I got to make this investment work. I've invested in myself. I got to trust in myself. So it was like, I think so much of this year and then where I've been shifting in my business is like really holding space for, for, spiritual light workers, for spiritual entrepreneurs, either emerging or existing in the way of like how we hold our energy, because there's such a huge energetic responsibility and. You know, we are, we are, and the people in my world, whether you're in here for the entrepreneur or not, you are an energetic person. You are sensing and feeling a lot of energy. If you come to me through the animal communication, there's no doubt you sense that there's more, you, you sense things on a different level. And then I'm just speaking to that. Language. So it wakes it up in you essentially. And you're like, Oh yeah, I get that. And that happens all the time. And so, you know, no matter what part of my world you're, you're coming through or experiencing the truth of the matter is, is that you most likely are a really energetically aware and sensitive person. Um, that is a gift. It can also be like a demise if we don't know how to manage that. And, um, you know, and then most of us that are here are healers at their core. It doesn't matter if you're a real estate agent or you are, uh, you know, um, a nutritionist or whatever it is that you do. Chances are, you probably feel at a very deep layer what other people are feeling, and without even consciously recognizing that, and so there, it becomes this like, this like, push to really help, and you want to help so deeply the people in your world, you know, um, children, pets, you know, significant others, whatever it is, and so we overburden ourselves And that creates exhaustion and burnout. And it's a lot of people think it's like the relationship or the business. It's not, it's our boundaries. It's our energetic boundaries. That's where we're giving so much of ourself and we're outsourcing instead of resourcing. We're not nourishing ourselves. And these periods of change, I feel like reflect back to us, how much. Things are not in alignment. I was just having a little, um, voice memo conversation back with somebody on Instagram this morning. And she was sharing that she's actually just closing down her book for a bit. Um, this is not an existing client. Um, just somebody that I was, I like to connect with people. I can gain insight, right? I want to know like, where is the energy, you know, where's the energy collectively in, in. Where's the energy needed by be directed. Where's, where are people like really struggling in their lives. And I think one of the things that I noticed across the board is that whether you are an entrepreneur at multiple six figures or seven figures, or whether you're, you're just starting out is this management of our energy. And we have to get really good as. Really, um, sort of energetically sensitive people at knowing where our boundaries are at stopping to say yes, like we have to stop saying yes to every single thing we have to stop. Worrying so much about the outcomes of others, the over responsibility. I can't tell you how many women come into my world and they're just so obsessed with their sickness, significant other, and then they just build this resentment and this anger to life. And they think it's like the business that needs to just. Shift and change. And it's not, it's how we are basically showing up with our relationships and with our own energy and that we're not prioritizing self care. I'm not talking about taking care of yourself, waking up, brushing your teeth, you know, um, exercising. Eating good diet, you know, taking your supplements. That's not, that's, that's taking care of yourself. What I'm talking about is real self care where you are going above and beyond for yourself in some capacity, you know, and in my opinion, this needs to be done every day in some way. And especially women, it's like, we're afraid to say no. And prioritize that. And it doesn't have to be long. It could be like 20 minutes of, I need to just go out for a walk with nobody around me. You know, I'm so guilty of this because I always feel like I should take my dogs, you know, um, and, and they get plenty, but I have to literally walk myself through this because there's something really exhilarating. If I can get out on the trail by myself, it's very grounding. It's very nourishing. It replenishes my energy. If I can just go out and feel the sun beat across my face, By myself, right? And I think that, you know, we're, we are sort of stuck in this pattern that really needs to shift around so that when we're in spaces where we're holding a lot of space for many different people, you know, no matter what that looks like in your life as a mother, as, um, I have a, a new client who's, you know, has a lot of responsibility in her life of helping with her own mother. Helping take care of a younger brother. And so there's a lot of outsourcing her energy in those ways. And those responsibilities, they don't go away your responsibility to your children, to your pets, to your business. It doesn't go away, but it's like, how can you create routines and systems and structures that support you so that you can regenerate your energy and prioritize a little bit of self care? And go that's like self care is going over and beyond what you normally do that could even look like do you know how many people that I talked to that by workshops and courses and at times I've been guilty about this, where we're just looking for that magical answer. Right. When really the answer is just within us. And, you know, it's like, I hear people all the time. I've, I've invested so many, so much money in courses. I have no more resources left because I've just spent all this money on this. And I need to catch up on these courses. And it's like, we do that because we're looking for this magical answer, but where the answer lies is within us and resourcing our own energy, you know, instead of outsourcing it, like the answer lies in our self care. It really lies in that, those, those moments where we are. just being with ourselves, you know, in a way that we don't normally do that. And so I feel like as this Virgo season is really coming to an end, you know, um, it is in an end, you know, we have hopped right into Libra and, um, to Libra season. And it's just been really reflective to me about how much The patterns that I see coming up for people, because so many people have navigated change. And for me personally, like, holy hell, my nervous system was like, so out of fucking whack, you know, and I have had to really get honest because it has, it's at my age at 45, um, my hormones are shifting a lot. So. My, my liver cannot, you know, process the cortisol because my estrogen, it's like the second that my cortisol goes up, my progesterone is gone. And then I'm in estrogen state of dominance and then I'm getting insomnia. And this is all stuff that I've been learning through a really, um, amazing, uh, amazing holistic practitioner. That's been helping me work through that. And, you know, and I, I I'm having to think about my life and my body in a whole new way. And then there's like, so navigating the grief of like all these things that changes circling back to grief is like all of those things, those changes that we go through, they are a stressor, whether it is a really positive change or something that is just like catastrophic, like death and loss, you know, they, they, they really put our nervous systems out of whack and it is so important to Prioritize our body first and our self care, because when we don't do that, we're not a clear channel. We're not a clear vessel. And then suddenly everything feels overwhelming. And many people build up resentment and anger, and then they don't process that. And then that's hard on your liver. And then like your body just gets so freaking out of whack through navigating all this change. And like, I was somebody that could really go through it for I can put an enormous amount of stress on myself. Um, and It doesn't feel like stress, right? I have a large capacity threshold and I realize that's like a gift in a many ways. Cause I, I can't, I can hold a lot of space and energy in my world. Um, in, in my day, right. It's, if you could only see like what I like, kind of, I, but I'm very focused on what I'm focused on at that time. And I've had to. Be very diligent about that, and I talk to people about this all the time because our energy gets so scattered and that creates more stress. So like when we're focused on the one thing, even if it's just for 20 minutes at a time, you're so much more resourced. And, um, so, but as Life is moving along and my body's changing and I'm realizing I need more, you know, and that's hard for me to accept because I have to let go of this version of me that held it all and I can still hold a lot, you know, but I have to do it differently. And so I've had to really look at how I'm showing up in my life, how I'm showing up in my business, how I'm showing up for the people in my world, you know, how I'm showing up for myself, my animals, all of it. And I've had to let some things go. You know, let some patterns go. I've had to let even clients just kind of. where you knew that that energy was ready to be removed. And normally people still wanted support. I would be like, let's go, you know? And even now it's like, if it's not, if I'm getting the sense that this container is. You know, finished our work here is done, then it's, it's kind of really trusting my gut not because I've learned if I, if I don't trust that, and then you carry on, it becomes more of an energetic drain and versus like a really, um, like well sourced energy. Right. Um, and I don't want to have that in my world anymore. And so one of the things I think as I navigated the loss of rhythm that came up, so, so. Uh, gosh, like really clear for me was one of the messages that she shared with me because I worked with, um, a really dear friend, Diane Ludking, um, she's at Soul Places Oasis, and she mentored with me. Through animal communication several years ago. She's very gifted and my guides were telling me to reach out to her and I'm so glad that I did. In fact, I loved her so much. She's coming on board to Radiant Vibes and she's going to be a, um, an animal communicator through Radiant Vibes. She's brilliant and I'm just so excited because I've been asking the universe to send me somebody for a couple years and due to different circumstances, there were many people, but like circumstances just shifted around and it just didn't happen. And I'm really excited about this and because what she was able to help me through it, I realized like I helped so many people through such immense transitions and to have that support for me, it really reflected back to me how important the work that I do is. And how needed it is. And, um, you know, so one of the messages that Diane reflected back to me through rhythm is rhythm said to me. So rhythm in the last, you know, six months took a lot of care, a lot of watching, you know, she started back in January on her journey to transition when she got vestibular. And she actually started last April with a tumor on her liver that was small. They, they felt like it was a slow growing tumor. She could go quite a while, which she did. I mean, she went, gosh, like a year and four months, you know, until it was just so big. Um, and And so that was last year getting that regulated with some gallbladder stuff. And then in January, she had a really, um, pretty heavy dose of vestibular. I didn't think she was going to make it through it, but she, she did. And she got through it. She was so determined and you could see her will was still there. And once we got through that, um, it took about six weeks and she was doing good and she had another little belt. And then from February all the way on, you know, it was like, Oh, gosh. No, actually in March, I thought she had sort of a little bit of a relapse. And I actually talked to my vet then, and we were, we were all prepared to set up an at home euthanasia in March, but she fricking rallied, man. And, uh, her work wasn't done, you know, she still had to support things here and she did. And she, um, rallied all the way up until these six weeks ago and in August and, um, early August is when I lost her. So. You know, um, she was amazing and I really truly believe that why Well, let me circle back. So one of the messages that she shared to me, because there was a lot of care in those days and thank God I work from home because I could do that, you know, um, and I never want to make anybody feel guilty because they don't, because we all have different responsibilities in life. Right. And, but this allowed me to be able to watch her monitor. So if she didn't eat breakfast and her tummy needed time, I could set it out there at 10 o'clock. I could really be observant of her and every capacity. And, um, Yeah. And there was just a lot of like, you know, knowing, and I have a vet tech background and I know a lot. So I could call my vet and be like, I think she needs, you know, a little bit more, or maybe this was just tuning into a supplement that I felt like she needed and all the different things, adjusting her diet was just like a constant journey. Um, because her kidneys were also having a hard time because the liver, so there's so many different things to, to move through. And I just, you know, for me, it's like a way of life. So it was just, this is what I do. And I was so glad to give that time to her, you know, because of everything that she's given to me. And so one of the messages she shared is she said, um, she told Diane, she said, I hope that this chapter of my mother over giving to everybody where she feels like she needs to care to the people around her at such a. High degree. And this includes the people and the animals. I hope that that part of her dies when I leave this world and not that she doesn't want me to give to others and not that I won't care for others, but it's that like really overtending. Right. And at the time. My youngest dog, Icon. He's got a little sensitive tummy sometimes. And sometimes he's just a little funny about his food. He's a little prince, to be perfectly honest. And so I had been like really obsessing about him and his, him not eating right. And oh my gosh. And, and all these things. And I just was like, I got to stop. I can't create this. imbalance in my life. You know, I cannot be overly responsible for everybody because it is draining me. It was like really, I could do it for her, but if I continued on my life like this, because this has been a pattern through my whole life, it was just going to come at such a big cost of burnout. You know, and inspiration and creativity and zest for life. Like truthfully, my zest for life has not been because of all of these different pressures and changes. And, you know, Creating these foundations, it takes time, which is why people don't want to do it, but it's a necessary. It's so necessary to do that so that you have the spaciousness to support you. And so, you know, but it does, it was a lot. And so I was finding that like my inspiration for life since. Probably since my dad died, because there was a lot of dynamics in there that happened. Um, my stepmother stopped talking to us. We had to deal with some estate stuff. It was just messy. And, um, and just restructuring that. And as that happened, like, I had a whole group of friends that were like some of my closest friends here, um, one that I considered a truly like one of my best friends here and they just dropped off the face of the earth. My dad died, you know, and not a lot of people can deal with grief, but they didn't really circle back around. And even when there was like positive things happening in my life, it's like nobody reached out, you know, and Ryan and I got engaged and it just really was reflective. Of, of how much I was like, even with those friendships chasing and just like doing so much. I mean, I look back at, especially for like some of these friendships that I've had in my life of like all of the shit that I've done for people and it not reciprocal. And I don't feel angry about that. I don't feel I've, I've moved through that because I was getting resentful. And this is what happens y'all. Like when we. Are over depleted like that. And we're giving and giving, giving to people and we're not being resourced. We're not having that reciprocality. We're not being nourished. We're not prioritizing ourself and our own energy. Like we will get angry. We will get resentful. And I see this in our bodies energetically and it takes such a toll on our liver and our hearts in particular. And we're nervous system, you know, and it's it's it in the longer it goes on. It's just that harder it is to clear. So, um, you know, it was just kind of with the recognition that instead of looking at those people leaving. You know that these weren't deaths, right? They were, they were just like the endings instead of looking at it as it was something about me because it was taking this like core wound that I have of I'm not enough and like, like really internalizing it. Well, there must be something wrong with me. There must be something that I did. I'm not enough. You know, and I'm not good enough. And, uh, I was really manifesting that in my body. And it was just creating an unhealthy energy in my world. And I finally sat one day and I heard I did like a breath work thing and I love breath work. And I was sitting there and I heard Ray, it's not that you're not enough for them. They're not enough for you. And that just like fucking landed so hardcore and my body and in my heart, it was like, no, they are not enough for me, my depth, my passion, my zest, my love for life, where I want to go in life. The big dreams, the big desires, like they can't. A lot of people can't fucking handle being around people like that, you know, and so it wasn't that I'm not good enough for them. It was like, they're not enough for me. Not that they're not good enough. It's that they're not enough for me to go to the places that I desire to go to in this life. And so I've been in the void, you know, I've had huge loss, you know, obviously rhythm and her sharing that back to me and, you know, she's, she's constantly around me. I see signs all of the time. And if anybody's catching this before this Monday, I am doing a two part series on navigating that entire journey because I've helped so many other people through this, like hundreds, I mean, hundreds, I can't tell you. And I haven't. Shared enough about that experience about that gift that I have of helping, you know, animals and I've helped people even navigate their end of life. Right. I can feel it. I know when they slip away. I know when it's done. I, I understand that journey. I understand that grief and how to heal through it to such a Large degree that it can bring a lot of enlightening to it. And as I navigated the loss of rhythm, I still moved through my humanity and my emotions of doubt. And like, I hope this is it. And not in just kind of like, can I trust myself through these deep feelings and these deep waves? And you know, it's like having that validation through Diane really helped because it's like, I said, I would say, I would voice my more and say, I know, I know this spiritually, I know this, but. I have to say it and I have to speak to it because I need it reflected back to me. I need it mirrored back to me. I need somebody to just tell me, you know, and to validate me. And we all need that. So anyways. As you can see, like through all the change, there is great awakenings through all loss. There's great gifts. It is just really hard to be in the void for a while. And, um, in truth, I felt very isolated this last year. Um, as all of these things faded off, you know, how do I, how do I move through life without, you know, my dad was. It was not the best dad, but he was still my dad. And I had conversations and, you know, um, and then my sisters and I, we had to reorganize our relationships. You know, there was restructuring in that in family and family dynamics and, you know, and, and having, like, I'm, I'm a person that has many, many acquaintances, right. But it's a little tough to get to know me at a very deep level. So when I finally opened myself up at that depth, you know, it's like, Gosh, and then people leave you. It can feel like really disheartening. And I, I take that hard and I, I, because I truly believe in supporting, I'm so, so much integrity, like with my clients, with anybody that's with me, like you have me energetically. Right. I, and I give, I, and I love to overgive. And, but now I'm doing it by choice. I'm doing it where it feels like this is the best use of my energy. This person is. In the reciprocal abundance space, right? And that is where I'm choosing to put my energy and it takes time to reflect. It takes time for me to be in stillness. It takes, I need spaciousness in my day as an energetic being, because naturally it's like, I will, my default is just to fall back into overgiving. And there's been many experiences with a few clients where I really overgave. And then, you know, I, and then at the end, it just. You know, for whatever reason, things happen the way that they do with the friendships that I do. And that's where I need to sit back. And that message from rhythm has landed so well. And I thank her every day for that message in life, because it's not about where I was at, where I was closing my heart off, where I was in resentment, where it was sort of bitter, you know, and I think we have to move through those emotions and acknowledge that it's okay to be in that space. It's about how I'm going to source my energy from now on. You know, and creating practices in my day to connect with my body and know how am I feeling in here? Right. How am I feeling? Not how am I feeling out there? Not who's validating me, not how I'm getting my, my sense of nourishment out there. It's like, how am I feeling in here? How, um, how is my body feeling? How's my heart? And so anyways, I, I hope this. You know, for any of you, because I know many people that come into my world have very intense parallels, very similar parallels. A lot of people that connect with me, they have a lot of Plutonian energy in their charts. They have a lot of heavy Capricorn energy, which have a Capricorn moon. It can feel like a lot. It can feel enormous pressure. It can feel isolating. It can feel like, you know, You're just, you, you're kind of handling the weight of the world, you know, and, and so a lot of you. Also have been navigating so much change and loss over the last few years, um, year and changes like moves, big moves. I can't tell you how many people are dealing with death and moves all at the same time. It's insane. You know, and we are getting into a clip season. We're in the pre pre shadow. We're in that shadowy part in a clip season coming up here in October. And I'll share more about this is it is. Universally, it's the cosmic change, you know, and there will be changes and there will be endings and typically they are permanent and there are portals for that. And so it can feel chaotic. It can feel disturbing. It can feel so dismantling to your nervous system. And I think that I wanted to really share this podcast from a very personal note of what's been going on in my world. So that as we continue to move on to this period of change and energy will start to open up in 2024 that we have to go through these periods of loss and shifting and, um, changing and creating foundations and rituals and things and coming back to our source of energy so that we can really evolve and grow into where our soul really wants us to be activated and move to. And so, you know, I encourage you guys just to sit as we're here and just be open to releasing habits and daily patterns that really aren't aligning with your desires and purpose. Who are the people that you're hanging around with that really just keep you low vibe? If you have responsibilities to those people, how can you set better boundaries with them? How can you not subject yourself to? Emotional abuse and just abusive patterns from others. You know, you, we just can't get to where we desire to be by holding onto outdated versions of ourselves. We just can't. And really looking at, as you make decisions, like being intentional with them, you know, um, and really looking at what are the most efficient ways to channel your energy in this moment and sort of. Getting back to that reflection of what really fucking invigorates you, what really freaking elevates your spirit, what aligns like with your energy and getting back to those joys, because it's intense when we navigate these changes and we can sort of fall away from like, where are the subtle joys? And it is truly this harmonization of your unique energy and your aspirations. And also like the obligation we have towards others. So I share this with so much love and for those of you that stuck through it to the end of this, um, I'm, yeah, more power to you because it's a lot and probably you're here because you've been moving through similar parts. And if there's any way I can support you, please do not hesitate to reach out. And I hope you all enjoy your beautiful, amazing weekend. Bye. Hey, untamed listeners, I am so appreciative that you took time out of your day to spend with me. I hope you enjoyed this podcast as much as I did, and I would love your support for this podcast. I would be so appreciative of a positive review. This helps promote the podcast. And push up the algorithm so more people can find me as a special thanks when you leave a review, take a screenshot of the review and send it to me to at Ray radiant vibes on Instagram. I will send you a 20 percent coupon code that is good for any single session or a 200 discount for my clarify and embody mentorship containers. Yep, that's right. You heard it right here. Thank you so much for being a part of my world and I'll see you next time