Erin Fisher: Wild & Wise: Women, Hormones, & Spiritual Connection

This episode is a must-listen for all women & men included!

Erin entered my world as a client a while back. I quickly became a client of hers when I went into the void & darkness of perimenopause. I had no idea what the heck happened to my body, my life, my emotions and it felt as if the woman I once knew no longer existed. 

Erin is an integrative women’s health practitioner with a passion for women’s hormones and their feminine systems. She sees the direct link between our hormones and our vitality as women and when women understand this link, they uncover their essence, vision, mission, and connection. 

She works with women moving through PMS and period challenges as well as perimenopause and menopause. Erin is a certified nutritional consultant, integrative and functional medicine for women practitioner, and weaves in her own spirit-led guidance with her clients.

In this episode, Erin shares her scientific and energetic expertise on women and hormones. She is a plethora of knowledge that brings awareness & understanding. So many women are misdiagnosed with chronic illness and disease, when in fact, their hormones are changing. 

 We openly share our experiences, what helped and how to embrace these changes, our cycles, and clear shame around these ever-changing cycles, we as women go through. 

We also share a fun personal story of how taking your power back aligns you with desire. Hint: Erin called in her divine masculine by embodying her desire for this! 

You do not want to miss this episode!

You can find more about Erin on her IG page here:

Erin Fisher

and through her website here:

https://www.wellandwisewoman.com

Erin is currently accepting new clients! 

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Transcript

4:33

Welcome to the untamed soul podcast. I am your host, Rachelle Embry, the founder of radiant vibes. I am a spiritual mentor and intuitive, energetic alchemist for you, your animals, and your soulful business. This is a podcast devoted to soul activation and embodied entrepreneurship. It is an exploration of inspirational humans who are leading the path to a new earth. Along the way, I will share intuitive insight and practical wisdom to inspire infinite potential in every area of your life. I am so excited to have you on this journey, so together, we can become untamed. Hello, everybody. I have a really awesome experience for you guys today for the women in my community in particular, which is most of my community. Um, I have Aaron Fisher here, who is. Just a gem of a soul. I found Aaron, well, probably over a year ago, we connected in a group experience that we were in. And Aaron has been on the path of women's health in her world. And is somebody that is like, navigates the highs and lows and everything in between of women's health and hormones. And, I came across her as she entered my world. And then I in turn entered her world as a client of hers. When my hormones started to get really out of whack and I really knew nothing about it. And Aaron was just a Saint and introducing me to what was happening into my body and helping me gain the answers and awareness of actually being in perimenopause and the implications that that was having on. Every area of my life. So we're going to go into that. I'll share more of my story, but a little bit about Erin as she is an integrative women's health practice practitioner with a passion for women's hormones and their feminine system. She sees the direct link between our hormones and our vitality as women. And when women understand the science. link. They uncover their essence, vision, mission, and connection. She works with women moving through PMS and period challenges, as well as perimenopause and menopause. Erin is a certified nutritional consultant, integrative and functional medicine for women practitioner, and weaves in her own spirit led guidance with her clients. So Basically she combines a lot of like spiritual with the science and the energetics when it comes into the body. So welcome Erin, introduce yourself a little bit more. And I'm so glad you're here. I cannot wait to dive in today. Yay. Thank you. It's always fun to hear an intro that intro. I'm like, yes, yes, that's right. I wrote that and I confirm all of that. Um, yeah, we came into each other's world and, um, Yeah. I have a strong passion, um, for women's health and women's hormones and really, you know, for every woman too, but for myself, I like to call it my first initial feminine break or something into the underworld. And so when I was in college, it was about my sophomore to junior year, I had an eating disorder. And, And I didn't get my period for five years. Um, it was just a, an identity shift, you know, coming from being really happy in high school and home. And um, you know, I didn't necessarily have the perfect, uh, teenage high school years, but what I think happened in college, uh, the eating disorder was just sort of open, really cracked me open. And so moving forward. Um, you know, I like to say that I was frozen literally for five years without, uh, a period and that just, you know, wove into a bunch of health challenges and obviously disconnect to myself. Um, and so fast forward, I really wanted to uncover that to myself. I would also say that was my initial sort of experience into my own spiritual path. You know, that's when I started doing meditation, you know, I found, I think Wayne Dyer was the first person, um, you know, that really got me out of that eating disorder and, you know, really just, no one told me how made my first altar. Um, you know, I still practice yoga daily, started doing that. So really just started going in towards that. And of course that moved forward. Um, Into so then my, I started to go to nutrition school to sort of undercover, you know, what was going on. And then from there, that's where I really started to understand, um, you know, really what happened when I lost my period for five years. Um, not just, you know, only on like a health basis and what that was doing to my immune system and my adrenals and my energies. But like I said, like what it really did to my spirit. And. Um, so I'm just moved forward and I am so passionate about it still. As I was saying before we got on, um, Before we started recording this, even today, I feel like I'm in a new found passion because there's so much new science out there for women. around, uh, hormones, specifically perimenopause and, um, menopause. And I'm sure we'll talk more about that. And, you know, women just having misinformation and thinking, Oh, that just happens to all of us. It's just natural, but really many women, um, going through depression, anxiety, uh, unexplained, like weight gain, disengagement with life so much. And Um, you know, of course, also just women going through so much period stuff, PCOS, um, that hard time that women go through during PMS of just feeling like totally depressed and the dark, you know, women just don't know. So yeah. So here I am still passionate about it. So it definitely, definitely was put here to, uh, share, uh, share a lot of this with other women. I love it because you have your Taurus son and you have Venus and Taurus, which is, uh, All about, well, like coming in here, part of your soul's mission was to reconnect with your body. And so you went through all this disconnection with the eating disorder, which I did too, in, in high school and all of that, and have had a lot of body dysmorphia and body image stuff to heal through. And, um, you being this high Torian. frequency coming in here, uh, you know, three, three Taurus placements actually in there. So it's like, and then the Venus and Taurus is like coming into the feminine, coming back home to the body and sharing this with other people, which is amazing. And just, I'm not surprised that you had a difficult. Early start because you have that Scorpio moon, which is the Hades moon. And I briefly shared, I mean, Scorpio moon women is like Hades moon, especially it's just moving through so much feminine healing, generational, like re patterning in our lineage and our ancestry and bringing all this home into. Empowering other women. North nodes in Scorpio too. So it's like, yeah, so we're going to heal this. We're going to heal this, this like wounded feminine that says like, all of this is bad. Like it's bad to have this, like these hormonal changes because patriarchal, I feel like puts a lot of shame on that for women. And, you know, for me, like it really was like that. I, I, I just like, Gained like 35 pounds in a blink of an eye, had no idea why it was just like, what is going on with my body? And I felt so foreign to it. I had no motivation, which I am a highly motivated person, like very motivated to take care of my body and nurture it. And I was like, I couldn't even get the motivation to work out for the first time in my entire life. I was like, I just can't do it. You know, the brain fog it's all. And it's like, I was just sharing with you with my, about my sister. At Johns Hopkins and a very prestigious hospital and doctors just telling her, sorry, we're, we're not going to prescribe anything for you. No bioidentical hormones, like this is just the way of life. You've just got to deal with it. You know, it's like, yeah, it's sad. You know, I said to you before, you know, most women, they go to their insured doctor and they are getting, you know, Even OBGYNs, they're just getting false information, you know, if, if they're having problems with their period, so whether it's PMS or really heavy cramps or heavy bleeding. Um, women can go have PMDD, which is like severe depression. They're not getting any answers from their doctors though. The only answer may be birth control pill, which only worsens the symptoms. Doesn't teach women about any of the foundations that I think every single woman that I stop on the street should know, like, what are the basics? Of your menstrual cycle What does that mean? What what are the changes in your mood? What is the changes in your appetite in your sleep? How can you prepare just getting that down? I always say like you know, for women to, how can, if women say, how can I support my hormones? Okay. Well, the first thing that you can do is, you know, if you're in your fertility years to really get down with your cycle, like have it be your best friend, really start to understand that it is a hundred percent. Yeah. A blueprint, a hundred percent. And that is not only unlocking some really important, like health data for us, but also unlocking some really important, um, you know, I'll just say like some spiritual aspects of ourselves to be able to understand that we are shapeshifters and we change and we go through four seasons within a month. So you, you better bet that we're, you know, there's going to, we're going to feel crazy and we're, you know, and then. You know, for you with you, like connecting it to astrology, like we feel this right as women. So it's like, if we're also going through the four seasons, the four stages of our cycle for those of us that are still bleeding. And then we also have astrology that's like moving through us. Like, I really want women to get that down as a foundation and they're not taught that of, okay, what, what are the four stages of my cycle? And to start tracking, like, you know, that was one of the biggest thing that I started to do. God, I think after, so I was probably 22 when I came out of my eating disorder. That was one of the biggest thing I literally used to just write down in a notebook, like how I felt every day, you know, what, what did I feel every day of, um, my cycle? Was it emotional? Was I hungry? Was I not hungry? Things like that, you know, really, I really think that these are like the core foundations that should be be taught in schools or women should be teaching this, you know, to their daughters. Um, yeah, I mean, and I can go through that really quickly. What are the foundations? I'm super curious because I've never, I mean, like I've always had a pretty regular cycle, so I've never had, and I've not been a woman that has experienced. What is your, your, your. Because I've experienced intense cramps or. Anything like that. I just wasn't, I have gone through phases where I just did not get my period. You know, depending on how hard it was. You know, or. If I'm under a lot of stress, I will just not get it. You know, It's never been like a horrible, like heavy bleeding, but I know so many women do. And the, the depression, so many women that you spoke about. And as you were saying that it was like, Oh my gosh, do you know how many women are on anti anxiety medications? Because it probably has a lot to do with this energy of their cycle and this misunderstanding of not even knowing, or yeah, prescribing birth control control when women are in their mid forties. It's like, I mean, my sister had this experience with birth control and. She was on it. I'm still not convinced. She went off of it. And two months later, it got a brain bleed. I'm still not convinced that that wasn't, that that didn't have anything to do with it because she was a 50 year old woman in it, you know, and has had heavy bleeding and heavy cramps and a lot of anxiety and a lot of like heavy PMS and mood, you know, the depression that you're talking about. It's like, Oh my gosh, I think this is going to click for a lot of women and understanding like some of the stuff that we experience is not actually. You know, all the, I mean, I'm not saying I'm not taking away clinical depression, what's out there, but I feel like there could actually be some really underlying currents with this. So yes, the, the foundations, I feel like that's huge. Yes. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. There's so much I can say that, I'm sure we'll get more into it when we talk about perimenopause and menopause, but yeah, there is, there is a direct link with our neurological function and our hormones a hundred. percent and it's not just a little bit. It's a lot. So, um, yeah, you know, this is called our fifth vital sign for a reason, our menstruation, our period. Um, so what that means is all of these things, like you're saying, you skipped a period when you were stressed, you have had women have heavy bleeding. Um, Um, they feel anxious like these are all that's really good data for us for how vital do we feel, you know, vitality being like connected vitality being energized vitality being, you know, alert in our brain vitality in our heart, you know, just feeling vital. So, for a menstrual cycle for women that are still bleeding. It is four different stages. So everyone should know that day one of your cycle, um, is the day that you bleed. And a lot of women don't know that. I work with clients and I ask them, you know, what's the cycle length? And they're like, Oh, what does that even mean? So day one is the day that you start bleeding. And so then as we move through day one through seven, Our body starts to come back alive, right? We come out of like the deep cave of menstruating, of having our period. And so what's happening there is our estrogen is starting to rise because as soon as we start to bleed, our body is preparing us. Okay. She's going to have a baby this month. Is she going to have a baby? Like, so we go into this this death and birth process every month, you know, one, is there like no estrogen then? It's not that there's no, it's low enough that it's not the dominating hormone in your body where, you know, if you were going to get pregnant. So day one, your estrogen sort of starts. Going higher and higher and higher and you get to like day seven day eight and so then this is when women really can start to notice, okay, you know, a lot of us bleed maybe four days, five days, three days, depending on how old you are, you can sort of start to feel yourself come back online, right? You just start to be okay. I'm a little bit more cognitive estrogen. which is rising is huge. As I said, for a neurological function, we can start to feel a little bit more outward into our world, right? So the estrogen is there for that. We can start to feel our body sort of come in line more, you know, when we're bleeding, we're so heavy in our womb, we're heavy in our emotions. So we're coming more into just like the functionality of our body because estrogen makes us feel pretty damn good. It makes us feel juicy. It makes us feel alert. It makes us feel awake. And so this is our body. Just prepping us. Is she going to get pregnant this month? So around day seven, right? Like it's up when there's too much, right? Yes. So it's a great thing, but unfortunately there's a lot of ways that our body can hold on to estrogen or take estrogen in from exogenous factors being bad, you know, water plastic. Um, Plastic water, bad water, birth control pills, um, crappy food, all of that. So you, so estrogen is good, but it can turn into, um, basically estrogen. And I'll talk about progesterone in a minute. I like to explain them as Wilma and Fred. So it's like estrogen turns into Fred Fluidstone in your body without Wilma being the progesterone. And so it's like, we need. Estrogen is a, is a feminine hormone, but it turns very into masculine and yang if it's too much. So we need the balance of the progesterone. So that's around day 14 when we ovulate. So day one is when we bleed and then day around day 14, this changes as you get older and not every woman ovulates around day 14. It's really important for women to know when they're ovulating. Some signs is your cervical mucus will change. So you can just, you'll just notice that whether that's in your underwear, when you wipe, it just becomes a little thinner and that's so the sperm can move through, right? So if we're going to have sex, the sperm can move through. So into that, um, into our vaginal walls, things just start to change. So that's just always good to notice. You're like, Oh, okay. I'm probably ovulating. Obviously one of the main things is libido, right? So your libido, because you have to think that our, remember that our body, like we're just like mating. We're just primal animals. And so our body is like, okay, like, you know, in, in sometimes once you start to get really in tune with your cycle, you can notice other women that are ovulating too. Like we're just fully like feeling ourselves. Like we're, you know, we've moved out of our cave of our period. Yeah. And now we have, you know, the estrogens rising, and then we're about to release progesterone because our body is like, okay, is she going to, is she going to be having sex? What's happening? She's at like her highest point. And so we feel really good at this time. We can actually get a little hungrier. We feel really strong in our body. We actually will have an uptake of testosterone, which is a really important hormone for women too. It's not just a hormone for males. We have that too. Um, so we can just feel really good. So then around day, it's actually right after we ovulate, progesterone is there. So progesterone is a healing sab for a woman. It's like a rose sab. It heals our nervous system. It is the hormone that's needed. for, um, conception to happen, right? So that has to happen. And then we start to feel our body feel this progesterone. So you can start to even notice, let's say this around day 16 or 17, your, your system just starts to shift just a little bit. You start to slowly shift away from this very outward cognition more into like, arresting nourishing, you know, cause progesterone is there to help you get pregnant, right? So if you think about progesterone is there to hold the baby, so then that's how it is. It's there to hold us. It's there to literally keep our nervous system calm. So progesterone is also helps us release GABA. So GABA helps our brain feel really mellow. So you think about the second part is like when we start to get really into our feminine, because our body's like, you're at the height of being a female, you're about to possibly, you know, have a baby. So progesterone is there. And what that does is it mellows out the estrogen. So that's like the Wilma and the Fred. Right. So if we, if we don't have enough of that progesterone in our body, that's when we can feel like angry and Yang and this, like the, like more like toxic masculine of just like frustrated. And we don't have that soothing salve of the progesterone progesterone helps us sleep, it helps our, um, our metabolism. It's, it's really the most amazing hormone along with estrogen. But so then around day 21, 22, if your body says, okay, there's no sperm, then the progesterone drops. And that allows us to shed our uterine lining. Um, so our progesterone drops and sheds our uterine lining down around day one, 21, 22. And that's when we enter PMS stage, right? So. What's happening when we're entering PMS stage is this drop in progesterone. And then as well as that, we're starting to have a drop in estrogen. So we're going way inward into our body. So what's happening here is we're not only losing the neurological functions and the outward functions in our body of the estrogen, but we're also losing that nervous system salve of the progesterone. We live in this world where there's so many ways that our body is aggravated throughout the month. So then the PMS, we enter into rage. We enter into these really deep, dark feelings. What happens for women is they start to feel the stuff that they don't want to feel because really they're, they become very raw, right? So we become raw with just what the hell we're feeling. And this is the really beautiful part about PMS is it can teach you, okay, like why, why am I so angry Like about my partner or my life, like what's misaligned will come up during the PMS. It is your underworld time, right? So it's the time. So this is where the spirit and the science comes in, comes in with hormones is as our body is shifting through all these hormones, it's greatly affecting our psyche. Right. And it's greatly affecting all of these other things. in a very serving way. Like it's an initiation, a hundred percent. We get to have an initiation, whether we like it or not, every single month for half of our lives. When we enter into women, and then when we enter perimenopause and menopause, it's like, It's like initiation on crack, right? That's when women are like, I'm getting a divorce. I'm quitting my job. I'm changing the way, you know, because again, these hormones are changing. And then we, and this is why I think it's so important for women to start young with recognizing this cycle. So that when, so you have this opportunity to work with these initiations over and over over again. And I know you work so much with this in your work that you do. Right. So I guess I'm like a very different way. Right. So maybe that's like me as a person have been not completely affected by it until there were like big stressors or big moves or, um, Or yeah, perimenopausal. Yeah, so it's interesting. Yeah, you're you know you being in how old you 46 now Yeah, so, you know, so that's the thing about perimenopause age 46. It's like we Our capacity in a way just changes. So then the sensitivity is heightened. So yeah, like you could, you're, you have such a strong constitution, but then as you reach 46 and then your, your body's like, well, you're headed out a fertility years, that means we're going to change your hormones. So then all these things that maybe you were cruising through before. Like are now up for you to, to look at. And this is for all of us, right? I went through, I'm going to be 48 in a couple of weeks. I went through a massive change a couple of years ago, massive. And I, I've been, I feel like I've been doing this work my whole life, but then I was like, Oh, I get it. Like I even get it more, you know, and I'll probably even get it more when I go through menopause. I'm So just to finish off, so then basically our hormones are, then we start to shed. So basically we come back to, um, Um, you know, day 28 of our cycle, if you start bleeding then, or day 25 sometimes, whatever it is for women, you know, depending how old you are, and your hormones, they're not like completely gone, but they're very low. And then it's almost just like we enter into silence. And we're in this place of bleeding and introspection, and we have all of these things that we went through, whether it's the outward or the inward, that everything that we, you know, challenging, beautiful, it's really just like a beautiful pause. And then we start all over. So the beauty of it is when our hormones are quote unquote balanced or healthy, but when. We're super stressed or our diet or because like we have to remember, remember that the number one thing just biological is we are a vessel to have a human. So, so we have to take care of our body like we just have to write. So all of these things that we that we have been told in this day and age of. You know what? We're just going to give her birth control instead of asking her some simple questions like what's the stressors in your life? What, what is your diet? Like, this is how you should be, you know, eating to support yourself. What are these, you know, are you tracking your cycle? So it's, it's just important for us to understand that, that we essentially are a vessel as women for all of this to, to move through us. That is our, you know, I like to call it a sacred responsibility. It really is because we, because within us being able to give birth to a child, we are also able to tune into,, all of our opportunities as a woman to channel, to manifest. To call forth, right? You know, all the spiritual aspects of the feminine, you know, to call that forth. And if we're disconnected from this thing, that's the blueprint that's just happening. Whether we want it to or not, even if you decide to take a birth control to stop your period or an ablation or this whole emotional psyche process is still. Going to happen. So the more that we can attune with it, the better off. It doesn't mean it's going to be perfect, right? That doesn't mean that we're here to be fixed, but it is here for us to learn so, so much of it. So yeah. Oh my gosh. I know I have so many different notes here because for one, like a lot of women are like the, the correlation between the estrogen, high estrogen and getting into this like almost wounded masculine, which is the anger, you know, which is the sacred rage, which I would say, and I am like gotta tell you, like, so I didn't realize that all of this was happening. Perimenopausal, but that is when Black Moon Lilith started coming to me and it was like, oh my god, like, where is this? And as you were talking, I'm like, oh, I see now, and I have moved through so much rage and, and anger and just like, This big release. And I feel like that whole time I was really, I'd probably been estrogen dominant for years without knowing it, you know, and, and so when I had the blood work done, the actual blood work done, I told you that she said that I was in like equivalent to estrogen of a first trimester of pregnancy. Like if she looked at it, she would be like, you're pregnant. You know, I just want to just say to comment that like, Yeah, you probably have benefited so much. Of course, you being you too, of like understanding that of like the black lilith energy and all that super beneficial, but also like, that's really hard to move through for an extended period of time. And I just want to bring that up because there, yes, that is a natural process that you went through. And that's a natural process that will happen in perimenopause is women will have high estrogen or low estrogen, whatever. But the, the process of also supporting yourself, so it's not this long, like extended thing that's that women go through for years, like for, for, you know, because women, the perimenopausal journey can last 10 years for a woman. And again, it's natural, yet. We come in contact with so many ways that's going to increase your estrogen and increase the intensity of it so much more in this day and age. And women, you know, can just suffer for, for so long. And so I want to just highlight, yes, the value of PMS. And these initiations and being in tune with it and not just trying to fix it and put a, you know, You know just put glitter on it and make it go away the value of also being like Well, let me like figure out some ways that I can support my body right to support this vessel and support this The physical aspects of it because I imagine that felt really hard for you. Yeah, I didn't know what the fuck was going on I'm like what because i'm never like I mean, I'm not gonna lie, like, I can have a little bit, like, Marsquare Pluto, so there is an edge to me, you know, not, not like a, it takes a lot for that edge to, like, hit, but it's usually more when things are, like, unjust or unfair, and I'm just like, that is unfair, you know, and I, Kind of, you know, in that, that space, but this was just like, I mean, I mean, and with grief, it was like my dad had died and there was a lot of grief and then anger towards that that could come up. And I didn't realize how much anger I really had, like energetically of like working with my, like through my mother and also these experiences with the feminine in my life. And I feel like with Black Moon Lilith, like really reflected that up is like, Yeah, this is, this is why and how, and it showed me like how and why that was happening for me. And I feel like it's happened for many women in life. And then to go through this initiation of like, what the fuck is wrong with me? I don't know who I am. My body is changing before my eyes. And I have been like a size, You know, four for like Mm-Hmm. teen years and, and maybe in my twenties, like a six, I mean, the highest, the most I ever was was an eight. So my body is not a big boned body, you know, it's like, it, it's typically Mm-Hmm. very lean. And so that had, that was uncomfortable. And then. Being somebody that struggled with body dysmorphia. And then it was angry at my body, you know, and literally it was an initiation. You talk about it. And it's like, then I had zero progesterone, like hardly anything. It was like 0. 25. So then I've been on progesterone for like two months. And within two weeks, you talk about that warm blanket of the nervous system. It just was like, Oh, here's the calm. And as you were talking about the anger, The anger is like, it's just not even there anymore. And it makes me feel like so much of that was probably that like estrogen that over like And I wasn't, I had lost connection to that feminine receiving, like where I wasn't, I'm normally like really good at co creating. And all of a sudden, like my practices were like the things that I did, which weren't, I'm, I'm through this. I'm not like. I mean, you know me, but anybody listening is like, I'm not the avid, like, let me create the vision board. Let me do these things. It's just a way of life for me. And, and just tuning into the frequency and just with the energy work that I do and things like that. And I hadn't gotten into it. And now I'm looking back and it's like, Oh, okay. And even I did this. Connection with Hecate in my chart of like this really fun manifestation. I shared a reel on an Instagram, but that was like two weeks after taking progesterone. So it was like, I'm seeing how now it was like, Oh, okay. All of that was coming in. And just this, you talk about the clearing out and for anybody listening, um, yeah, it's like all last year, I feel like this probably really started like heavy in like June, July, and then. Brian and I were buying a house and that was extremely stressful because we looked at probably 50 different houses. I mean, when you're buying a house, it's exhausting looking at things. We knew we needed to blend our lives together and create some simplicity. And then there was all this other stress between his house, renovating his house selling, which still isn't quite sold, but like, yeah. And then my, my houses and dealing with that and then blending lives. And I go in and suddenly I'm a step mom and to teenagers that boys and And it's just like, one was supposed to be here part time and he's here full time. It was like one thing after another, it was just like my whole world being kind of turned inside out and upside down along with a lot of other personal things that were happening. And then these changes in my body, but the thing about it that happened is like, it was an initiation to, I feel for me finally come home to my body in a way that I never had been. Like, I loved my body when it was thin, but it was like, can you love your body now? Like. This woman now, because she's still the same, she's still the same woman. And I, I went and I got branding photos and I was hoping I would have lost some weight by then. It was book like four months prior, but I couldn't get over the hump because I didn't have the hormones on board, the progesterone. And I decided to do it anyways, because I was like, no, there's something in this for me. There's something about loving myself in this space and that other women need to do the same in this space as our bodies change before our eyes. And we don't know, you know, and I did it. That was really empowering for me. It actually led on so much healing for myself and self love and, and just being able to do that. And I love the photos and I'll always, always use them. Even if I lose all, all the way, it's like, those are there. And then also just the, like. Shifting out of clearing out anything that was not aligned with me within my business. Um, having to speak my truth a lot in this new dynamic and this new space, and also having a lot of initiations to speak my truth out with other women that. You know, rose up from the surface that really weren't supportive of me energetically. And it was like, I feel like for me, it was, uh, a complete, like, I'm so aware of anything that now disrupts my body, anything, whatever it is, whether it's, you know, too much alcohol, like I can't, I don't have the tolerance I did before, you know? So that's, that's new. Um, the food that I eat the, and I've always been like this, but it's even like. It's increased bar, not taking enough water, not getting enough sleep. Like, um, people that are just not a good energetic match for me and my world. And it's like, you know, my tolerance for disrespect for people, just not supporting other people and seeing women in their power. And I think this whole process helped me see myself in my power, my truth. And it's like being able to see that for other people, it's like anything that's not aligned with that, it's like, unsubscribe. Block. Delete. Go. I have no room for it. Yeah, I'm right there with you. I, that's, I lost, you know, one of my best friends like two years ago because it, you know, I had got out of a relationship that wasn't aligned to move through deep front financial stuff as I was moving through some deep hormonal, even me that knows a lot about hormones stuff. So I, you know, there's, um, so Maureen Murdoch wrote this book, the heroine's journey, and it's basically, yeah, it's basically off of Joseph Campbell's, but she's changed it for the feminine. And so, you know, within that, it's just basically saying that, you know, These stages and ages of our lives, you know, they're going to bring us through initiation, you know, and I do believe, and I see this, that a woman moving through the initiation in her forties while she's simultaneously moving through perimenopause is such a huge shift. It's such a huge, huge clearing, right? We're like, we're like releasing a lot of the maiden stuff, whether that is habits, even if they're healthy habits, like, I used to, you know, I have a friend. Right now that's kind of moving through it and she's like works out and does hit workouts like every single day every sit and she Just heard me Yeah, and she just heard her back. Yeah, and she's going through the initiation of oh like I need to balance. I need to learn balance and I need to widen my compass. So it's like our, so as we move through this time of perimenopause for women, you know, starting, it can start as early as 40, um, can last. So perimenopause is the journey moving into menopause. Menopause is 12 months of basically you haven't had your period. So perimenopause can start way before that, you know, can be 10 years, can be five years. And this is when Our body's moving out of fertility. And then our hormones kind of just go back into puberty. They go back into wonkiness, high estrogen, low estrogen, no progesterone. But the number one thing that we, that we lose is progesterone. Why? Well, our body's like, Hey sister, you're like, definitely not fertile anymore. There's really no reason to have this progesterone around that much anymore. And so what happens is our nervous system really gets Like a Joel, because of that, because of that loss of progesterone. And then what happens is because we don't have enough progesterone, then we have these, like, we were just talking about the high estrogen stuff going on. So then what happens is women's capacity for stuff become like, this is where I believe women in perimenopause, their, their boundaries become super come online. I thought I I had strong boundaries. I could spend a strong woman, but I was like, same thing where you're just talking about the clearing that I had to go through when I was going through my big chunk of hormonal imbalance. So basically I was different than you. I had really low estrogen and, um, and we can talk about estrogen more in a little bit, but. So women's capacity, our capacity, I don't want to say diminishes our capacity for bullshit diminishes. Like you're saying who we want in our life. What's, you know, what's aligned, what's not aligned. We just don't have room anymore. And sometimes it's because we're not sleeping well, because we feel uncomfortable in our body. Like we're just over it, right? So we, we bring our boundaries online as our hormones are dropping. And so what's happening is we're having a hormonal pull and we're having the huge initiations But what I really want the message for women to understand is when you start to, and you're just saying like your nervous system totally came back online with the progesterone, the new understanding. So the old, the old perimenopause menopause is, Oh, it's just natural. Like, you know, we're just all have to go through this. Well, my mother went through it and she didn't, you know, say anything about it or whatever. We're in a totally different time what we are doing as women what we want to do as women What we're asked to do, you know, as single moms, as entrepreneurs, like it's what we want to do. And what we're asked to do is very different, you know, from 10 years, 20 years, you know, it's very different from our primal ages of like our body primally wants us to just at, when we go through perimenopause and hit menopause in our fifties, wants us to just chill. Like for the rest of our lives, it wants us to just be nice. No. And it's like, we're, so this is where I think like the new earth woman is. This is where, as we have moved through so much in this last chunk of years, this is like the Aquarian age of the woman. Right. So it's like, We're coming now to understand, wait a minute, our doctors aren't telling us that, you know, what, look, Ray has no progesterone in her body. She needs that. She needs to balance her nervous system. So just really quickly, again, progesterone balances your nervous system and it balances out your estrogen. So, you know, the, the new paradigm. So this is where, you know, getting into the science just even recently this week. There is a, um, an article in the Washington Post that basically debunked, uh, hormone therapy as, you know, if you ask any woman about hormone replacement therapy, they'll say, well, doesn't that cause cancer not to go into it, but it totally is, was a study from 2007. And even before. It was a skewed study, of course, and all it showed was one participant that used to be on hormone replacement therapy stopped and then started again in the study had a slightly higher risk of breast breast cancer. That is only the reason why is because she went off hormone replacement therapy, but they are now what's happening now is the great reveal, right? The query and age truth is coming out. And they're now saying, cause they started to look at it Closer in 2017. And then recently, we're literally this week in the Washington post, they're saying that that study didn't set, didn't reveal any of the positive findings, which is all of these women on hormone replacement therapy are like basically. are protective against cancer, protective against osteoporosis, protective against heart disease. So the number one reason why women die is heart disease. And this is all related to our hormones. So to back up, what happened is all of these doctors started feeding each other's information as hormone replacement therapy is going to cause cancer when no, no, no, no, this that is now totally opposite hormone replacement therapy, whether You're taking bioidentical hormones or you're just supporting your hormones. So I'm not saying every woman needs to go on bioidentical hormones through perimenopause. It sure is going to help, you know, if you work with the right practitioner, I'm also talking about addressing the foundations of your hormones, which means you address not taxing your adrenals. Through, you know, vitamin C and very important botanicals like ashwagandha and roliota. You do these things. You address the fact that maybe you can't drink five glasses of wine every night. You start to address, you know, your foundations and then you see like you have done and I'm on bioidentical hormones. Then you see, okay, maybe I am a good candidate for bioidentical hormones. So just really quickly. So your listeners understand the difference between bioidentical and synthetic. Can I say, like, can you explain? I don't know how to explain because we'll know, but some women are young, the studies a long time ago were also on synthetic and synthetic basically is made in a lab and it's the synthetic compound that doesn't match the, um, the, the cells of your hormones. It doesn't match that. Same construction. A bioidentical hormone matches the same construction of what your estrogen looks like in your progesterone. And the great thing about bioidentical hormones is in very small amounts, so you titrate up. Instead of, for instance, birth control is a synthetic, Hormone instead of just giving women these like blanket hormone replacement therapies and not looking at her as an individual. You know, for me, I take progesterone and estrogen. It's a fair, I'm so sensitive. So I take really small amounts that, that work for me. So bioidentical is safe. You get to tight trade up and they literally are replacing what your body is losing. So for you, It's replacing that progesterone. Like you, you need that. Your nervous system needs that it's also hormone protective because if a woman in perimenopause or menopause is walking around with high estrogens, what we do know is yes, high estrogen causes cancer can cause cancer. So you're actually protecting progesterone, not to mention. Women can sleep better. The most common thing I see with women is I wake up at 3am. I can't sleep. I can't sleep. I have anxiety, my capacity for stress. I want to like bite my partner's head off. I can't deal with my kids. I have no motive, you know, all the, the, that stuff, all the motivation, like that's all progesterone where estrogen. So I'll just move into estrogen. So is that okay? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I'm just going off in tangent here. So Ash and yeah, like I was saying, it's, so when we lose that in perimenopause, so what's happening is like, as we move through perimetopause and we're still bleeding. We haven't stopped bleeding yet. Our estrogen is like sometimes like too high, especially if we're not taking progesterone and sometimes too low, but eventually a lot of times women's estrogen will just go away. start to get lower. And that may happen with you sooner. So estrogen soon. So estrogen is neurological. So this is brain fog is the major thing for women through perimenopause and menopause is I just can't think straight. I don't feel like myself. Like that is a major complaint of women is they don't feel like themselves. Estrogen. Also of course is in your vaginal lining. So you start to feel, uh, to women have the classic menopause symptoms of feeling dry, UTIs, UTIs, women start to get, they're like, what are you talking about? I have a UTI, I don't get UTIs. That also is due to low estrogen. Estrogen also can increase, uh, libido, uh, some bit too, but the main thing is estrogen pulls women out of depression that can happen with progesterone too. But it is very. Protective for our brain. And it has a lot to do with, uh, why women have anxiety and depression is because of the fluctuations of estrogen that occur if it's too high or too low, it can cause that. Yeah. Yeah. If it's too high or it's too low. So in perimenopause, you know, so how do you, that's why perimenopause testing is great, but also just symptoms. So to someone like you, yeah, you have really high estrogen. So it's good that your practitioner that you're working with is putting you on progesterone to bring that down. And as you move through perimenopause, there's a possibility that you might be a candidate for estrogen too. So for me, I'm 48. And let's see, when I was 46, I went through a period of just feeling like weepy when I woke up, not feeling motivated, not feeling engaged, not really wanting to do anything, not really feeling have the energy. And lo and behold, like I did the test and I had, my estrogen was like almost to menopausal like, uh, range. And so I took my first try of doing bioidentical estrogen. I had already been doing progesterone for almost about two or three years. So I reached this time and it literally felt like a 16 year old boy within like three weeks was like, Bing, every light bulb went on. And I literally said to myself, Oh my God, I've been estrogen deficient for a really long time. And the thing is. And this is just to kind of bring it all full circle because I had lost my period. I, the things that we do when we're really young kind of set our constitution up for later in life. And so perimenopause menopause, we can kind of see that. So for me, I are, you know, if you have an eating disorder, you have like no estrogen, right? That's why women are so thin. And that's why I wasn't bleeding. I think I, most of my life I had, I have had really low estrogen. And even if the test had said, you know, you're okay. The neurological benefits I got from that were astounding. And so this is what. I really want women to be educated about that their doctors aren't educating that, you know, women between the ages of 40 and 52 are given anti anxiety and depression medication 50 percent more. Yeah, it's crazy. It's insane. Probably so much to do with this, which finding the right You know, working with you was really what opened it up for me because I just had no idea. I was like, well, I'm not 50. I just thought it was going to be like 50 and actually listening to this. I feel like, cause I went through a really big hormone thing. And when I hit 40, where it was like the only time in my life that I had like really heavy bleeding and it was like so bad, I mean, literally I couldn't even, I'd be on a mountain bike ride and within an hour, like having to go to the woods and like. You know, change a tampon every hour. It was bad. And, um, I found somebody there that was like a holistic doctor and she thought it had a lot to do with Lyme's in the body and the way that I was eating. Cause I've had Lyme's relapse like twice. Um, So, and I ate healthy, but she wanted me to eat these balance of certain hormone foods and cut out eggs and do all this stuff. And I did do that for a while and it did help and it cleared it. It actually did clear it up. So I think she was onto something then, but now that I'm thinking about it, I bet there was actually even more of this already starting then, you know? Oh yeah. I mean, that's a, a huge, heavy bleeding, longer cycles. Usually that's. Again, like I was saying, that's you possibly not having enough progesterone in your body. So that's like, you had too much like Fred Flintstone in your body because the Wilma was deficient. And the number one thing that, that makes our body release like, uh, deplete progesterone is stress. It literally, it's called the pregnenolone or progesterone steel. Our body is like, Well, I'm, if you're stressed, I'm taking care of the stress in your life. So whatever that is, right? Like overworking or bodies, financial stress, something immune line, whatever's going on, our body's like, we have to take care of the stress. We can't give you progesterone so you can have a baby, right? That's what the body just does. So then. If you take out the fact that we're not running away from tigers and that we're, that we're just stressed as women, what's happening is it's pushing us into this major hormone imbalance, you know, as early as 40. And that's what I did for myself. Obviously that's how I lost my period. I stress my body out so much by under eating. I got, my parents were marathon runners. So I started getting into running. So much so that I depleted my estrogen and progesterone and that's the same thing that can happen for women when she's in You know her fertility years during PMS or especially during perimenopause menopause She's having this natural decline of her hormones because her body's like sister. You are 40 45 But then the stress, the stress system that her maiden self, her younger self that she's been used to is still running the show. And so it's even depleting her even more. So then that's where we have an opportunity, again, going back to the initiation, to is to look at, you know, look at these things in our lives where it's like, I need to, in order for me to shift into the next timeline, I have to let go of some of these things. I have to let go of the fight or flight that I've been into. I have to really face these things of this relationship isn't right for me, this thing, this job, you know, I have to let these things go in order to support Your body. So it's like, yeah, we still have to do yes. There's bioidentical hormones, but we still got to do the work, right? Like there's no, there's no bandaid here. We still have to. And I think that this is, as we move into our, you know, our wise years as women, we're in our, almost in our second half of our life, you and I, you know, we're in our forties and. We gain the wisdom and we actually gain capacity. We, for me, what I've experienced is I have more of a, because I balanced my hormones, but you know, a lot because of all the things that I've let go of, but also because I'm on bioidentical hormones, it doesn't mean you have to be on biogeneral, just that I support my hormones in my bodies. My body, it literally is just open myself up to just be a wider channel of presence in my life because I can be present with what's here. It doesn't mean that I don't get stressed out or worry or whatever, but I, I'm supported. And that's really like what we're here for. Maybe we're turning away less from supporting others, our children, you know, our partners, being that caregiver and moving into more of the archetype of supporting ourselves and becoming more of this wider channel and having more of the structure, we build the structure, we build the architecture. So then everything can just move through. Yeah. Yeah. It makes so much sense. I mean, cause that's definitely been like, where I was, you know, always giving, giving, giving to my business, giving, giving, giving to everybody else, giving, giving, giving all the time. Clients like my animals, my everything, you know what I mean? And then how it's like, I actually don't feel bad if I just want to take a walk by myself without five dogs. You know, it's like, I don't feel like I, it's not something I do all the time. Cause they, they need, you know, they obviously need their care, but it's not like, I don't feel bad if I just say, I want to take a bath by myself with Ryan or I'm like, I, you know, and I don't also, I'm in a relationship that like where I was trying to energetically hold everything up and like, he doesn't need it. Yeah. You know, it's like, actually, no, you don't even need to do this anymore. And that was a big aha moment for me of like how much I was energetically holding up so many people, like clients, everybody versus just letting people be on their path. And like, so now it's just like the people coming into my world or in the people that are still working with me, that are older clients, they're in their power. They're self led. They don't need me to do that. You know, it's like, they're here to receive. They're here to be witnessed and seen, but they're leading their own lives, you know, and it's such a different vibe. And I'm like my business. It's like, no, you're going to start replenishing me. All right. You're just starting punishing me. Like I'm not giving to you all the. Up in time. And I think that's where some of the women have it backwards. It's like they don't, they just constantly giving to everybody else that they're the last thing on the table. And you were talking about Smee Mee really realize something interesting and that I think can go back to some generational patterning is like, you know, where, when women and it dawned on me earlier, when you were talking about when women hit this, these, these cycles and it's like, You know, when you're going within and you get your period, you're kind of like looking around. It's like, what's not misaligned or what's, or what's misaligned, what's not working. And when women aren't willing to face those hard truths, which sometimes it's hard, it really is. The truth is hard. Right. It's very, very, very hard. And that's whether it's the truth of who you are, the way that you've been, uh, co creating with these experiences, you know, the way that maybe you've been enmeshed in codependence or, you know, like letting people treat you a certain way, whatever it is, where you're not speaking your truth. And it's like it, in my family, what I witnessed was when my mom hit, hit perimenopause. She went into very dark depression, very dark depression. And now my younger sister was also moving through a lot at that time. And, um, but she always chased my dad, always chased my dad. And then she asked for a divorce and hopes that he would just like, Do the separation and come chasing after her, quit drinking, quit doing all the things, but she did it for an outcome for him. Yes. And thinking about like her siblings, some of her siblings who have, and I see this in, in a lot of women where they just settle in these dynamics in these relationships where they're not emotionally fed, where they are denying who they are. They aren't living in the truth of like their soul. And they just. Crumble, they crumble into the couch, they get autoimmune diseases. They get like all these other things and they literally become lifeless. And that's just not the path. Like the path for me is like, like one of my really good friends who's 52 and doing Olympic weightlifting, you know, and she's on bioidentical hormones. Like we get to like, literally. And she never did that till she was 48, you know, so it wasn't like her life. And it's like, that's not everybody, but I share that. It was like the path I really truly feel like is for you to only come more into your power. And the only way to do that is to, like you said, recognize these. These things that we know, we know as women, we know we are psychic AF know it. And we become more, more as we're going through these initiations and sometimes even the depletion, I believe we can become even more psychic, right? Like we've become even, I've seen that for myself. It's just like, you just feel in the, in, in, we get to our psychic, you have a Scorpio moon, so there's no way that you aren't or not. Like there's a reason why, like, you just know what you know, or like, you know, You've been so helpful for me. I mean, even though I found a local doctor to get some like stuff happening here, like I'm, I'm writing you and I'm telling you the stuff. And then I just felt like, even when I was like, I think this supplement might be better. I don't know, but let me just, but I had an intuitive hint. And you're like, yeah, I'll actually like that one better. Blah, blah, blah. It's like, you know, you do know. There's a reason why you know what you don't know because there is a deep intuition with you and you that is connected to this like healing of this sisterhood of this, you know, truly, I mean, even down like with a scorpion moon, it is the witch wound in all of us. It's all of it. So it's even more than that. Like all of this stuff is so. It's so in alignment with who you came here with your cosmic blueprint and, and your devotion to it is creating so much healing for women, which is so powerful. Yeah. I, you know, thanks for saying that. I think, you know, I don't, I don't do my clients a hundred percent full time because, um, just in the conversation of initiations and everything, I came out of my My depth recently of, you know, needing to take care of some other financial stuff and, you know, knowing that, you know, I think the biggest thing of coming and I think this happens for a lot of women that coming out of initiations deep in the hormonal depletion and everything is that We get to do things temporarily. We get to be this person and this person, we are multidimensional and we aren't in a box. And I think that that's like the biggest thing for women is when they hit these hormonal depletions, especially in perimenopause menopause, but also PMS, because, you know, that psychic ability, like that's our training. I always like to think of that as in our fertility years, when we go through our period month after month, that's our. Our psychic, our ability, our ability to shape shift, our ability to move through every month is our training to get to these big things where we will want to change some really big stuff. You know, I, you're, I just like took a deep breath when you said the witch wound and sister, I went through the, the, the biggest sister wound, like breakup, you know, it's still really hard for me, but I went through that before, while I was going through this, like, Depression and disengagement because of, you know, it's not only that my estrogen was low, but it wasn't fucking helping that I wasn't able to get, Oh, it was a catalyst, but I went through again, a huge shedding with, with, you know, the sisterhood wound and all of this. So my point in bringing up just all of that is. I just know that women in their, their forties and we get in, we're in training during our fertility years is that we come into really wanting to express all different versions of our stuff self and really peel the layer back. And I believe balancing our hormones, taking care of this vessel will allow us to peel that layer back because it's so fucking hard. to be in depletion and want to peel that layer back but not be able to because you're so depleted. And this is the science and the spirit of hormones is it allows you to cross the bridge to get to that other side and to release that wound and to, to have to break up with People and things it allows you because you have that strength to say, okay, I'm waking up. I feel okay. I have the power to do this. I'm not depressed. I'm not anxious. I'm not fatigued. My joints don't hurt. I have the capacity to move through this stuff and face it now. So Yeah. And, and I, my hope is like by spreading this word and getting like, cause there's women in their thirties, you know, and in my community or your community, whatever, it's just like being able to spread this word so that they're more aware of what is happening, that They don't have to like wait for the big crash or the big thing. You know what I mean? It's like just being able to know this at an earlier age, I think is so impactful. And one of the things that was really, as we kind of like bring this full circle, that's sitting with me at one last thing, I, I mean, there's lots of other things I would love to dive into, but one thing around this that I feel like I want you to address is clearing shame around it. Because to me, and, and I get full chills as I say this and super vulnerable is like, I am a person that did hold so much shame around having a period when I first got my period, it was, it was like 14 and I hid it. I actually hid it from my parents. I wouldn't tell them, you know, I didn't feel safe about it. I always felt a lot of shame around it. Um, really probably honestly, until I was older, I wouldn't talk about it with other women. I felt extremely uncomfortable talking about it. So it's been a big healing journey for me. And I feel like for like, for a lot of us, I don't know, for me, I feel like that was like a lot of past life stuff coming in and just not having that like really strong mother connection with my own mother and having to resurrect my own divine mother, you know, of my own. And it was like. I don't know. I mean, what can you offer people around that? I just feel like you'll have something there for people. Yeah. I mean, you know, when you say that, it's like it, it hurts my heart, you know, to hear you, you say that you hid that because that's just a condition. Like you had a conditioned response, whether it was from your past life or the current environmental conditions that, you know, we're not taught to actually, you know, celebrate or explore or to, to go into our first initiation of our period as young women. And, And if you think that actually like thinking not to cut you off, but I want to add this in really quick as you go, but like the thing that really what it was is like the only way that I received attention a lot of the time from my dad was by being really good at sports and doing all of the things. And so it was like almost this fear of like, well, my mother doesn't see me. My dad sees me when I'm this way. And is there some sort of like rejection that's now going to happen? Like, I felt like. That all of a sudden I would be seen differently, you know, well, yeah, I mean, you know, it's like when we're initiated into our period, we're obviously initiated into womanhood, but we're also initiated into our light and our dark. We're initiated into exploring the good girl and then exploring, you know, the, the shadow exploring the dark feminine. Right. So it's like, right. that shame that we, that so many women feel and that's, that's like propagated now, you know, women are just like, Oh, take a birth control before the convenience of not having your period. That's, it's pushing, it's suppressing women's there are her ability to start to integrate all of herself, right? Like the, she's in, you know, I got my period when young, when I was 10, but to really start to integrate those shadows that are going to come up during PMS. So those shadows or the, the expression to not just the shadow, but also the expression, maybe in the first part of her cycle, or. The stuff that we go through in our body, you know, the, the changes of weight and fluctuation throughout the month or the change or that desire, like, you know, to, to put shame as, you know, uh, woven into that is literally just cutting women off from, you know, their birth, right. But also like their consciousness and in their timelines and their quantum leaving. Like, can you imagine if. We really start to teach women that, that, you know, the initiation when she starts to bleed is really an initiation to, into these multidimensionalities of herself, you know, into the, the, her powers and her wisdom and all of that. So the, yeah, the shame, it's like, That's so heavy that we have to deal with that. And, and then suppression comes with that. The suppression that comes with that. And as women, what do we do? We hold everything in our body, you know, sometimes when. I'm, you know, about I'm actually about to bleed like tomorrow or maybe two days. Sometimes what just comes out for me is like, we are asked to hold so much in this world, men and women, but like the grief sometimes that like, I feel for how much as humans were asked to hold. To, to hold, you know, and I'm so grateful that, um, my cognition and my consciousness, all that gets to shift to, to be able to just to have that perspective on life, you know, and I think that that's why women are so wise because, you know, it's not that men aren't wise, but they don't have as much hormonally shifting going on, you know, we're, we're the oracles. So for the ones that are going through. All, all of this. So to, so to have suppression and shame as young women is, you know, it's almost just like stifling us from entering into being priestess like young priestesses, you know? Yeah. And it actually, I feel like is a reason why a lot of women get in these misaligned relationships. Totally. Where the, the men are narcissistic, they're, you know, man, children, they're not like respectful of the woman entirely subtleties, shushing them, silencing them, all the things. I mean, I've been in them and like, you know, it's just an interesting, interesting, um, space. There's one thing that I do want to talk about because there are a lot of women that are in their forties and they're single. And like, and, and I'm so glad you're willing to go here and share about your story too, because I've been very public and open about my story of meeting Ryan. And I was like, single and left a relationship, moved out here, you know, into Arkansas and did that whole thing. And, and it was quite a journey of being single in your forties as it's a very different experience, you know, because to me, I feel like when you get to be single in your forties is like the, to me, it was like, The most amazing time of coming home to myself. I didn't see it like that at first. And I felt like in many ways, love would never find me. Even though it was one of the things like, I mean, I'm a triple Libra stellium and I, outside of that, you know, Libras, we love our relationships. I, I'm Venus ruled in my chart. I, I'm, I deeply desire love, you know, and connection, but I also feel like whether a woman wants to admit it or not, We, you know, if you don't admit it, I feel like you're probably just denying the truth of your soul, but we want love. We want that love. We want to be seen and held. And so I like. And you, you were sharing about your hormone and leaving your hormones and leaving this relationship and all of this initiation. And, you know, I think finding Ryan and the irony is like here, Ryan meets me and like our whole relationship has been in this, this, all of this hormone space, my change in life. It's like, when I started dating him, my life was like, yeah, I'm great. My body's like, I feel great. I looked fucking phenomenal. I mean, the best I've looked in my life. Not that I don't look good now, but it was just like, like, yeah, I was, I was just like blazing with sexual energy, you know, and just completely alive. And then my dad starts dying of alcoholism and I'm faced with all of that. And then, you know, from there it was just the step mom disowns us, the, the, the, like all of the things, you know, all of the responsibilities that I had to wear and all of it. And it's just like, it's a wild experience and I want you. To share about your experience with this, because yeah, inspire other women. Yeah. Um, yeah, being single in your forties is a real thing, right? It's, um, so I will say I'm not single now, and this is part of the story here is. So I had gotten out of a relationship that was one of the biggest initiations of I won't go into it, not just the depths, but the high, like I literally might like shift my consciousness shift, but I was entering into that depletion of hormones. It was a toxic relationship, right? It was pretty. It was yes nurse, you know, now that I'm out of it, there was narcissism, it was long distance. I was driving four and a half hours. He was in Tahoe. I'm here in Santa Cruz. Four and a half hours back and forth. It was about stability and my intuition just said no no. There's just so much. And so I also at the time was ending doing a business that was bringing in income. It was just all these endings, endings, endings. And so, you know, I, I pulled away from that and I moved to that. And, and yeah, I felt a deep, Grief for not having the love that I really wanted in my life. You know, I, I have spent, you know, some time, good amount of time single in my life, but not like I had then for that time after I left that relationship. And like you said, in the beginning, it's hard. I talk about shame. A lot of women, I think in their forties feel shame. They're just like, I'm, you know, again, it's a hormonal thing too. I'm too old. Like my body's changing. And so as I moved through that, you know, it was kind of simultaneously, I was listening, you and I had met, we had had like one session. I had a clearing session. What do you call them? Like you're clearing sessions, a 90 minute calibration. Yeah. You know, initially it was around Mike, my business, but then I think, you know, also I was just talking to the style that you do. And I think I did talk about my relationship about the business, but then it's always like all this other stuff. And so after that session, I just, you know, whether it was tangible or not, like anyone that's worked with Ray, it's just like, she's shifting things in the unseen world, you know, like just, it's just something shifted. And that's why I knew I wanted to, you know, to have a session with her. And so, Um, I had been listening. Her podcasts are great. Not just because I'm on it, but her podcasts are amazing. I can't remember which one or who it was with, but you were talking about online dating and, you know, I think of you as like a cool, strong, spiritual woman, you know, and I'm just like, Oh, she online dated. And I had a total, you know, like we all do online dating. Oh, that's for that type of person, whatever. Yeah. But I had reached some strength in my life, and I'm, you know, I had supported my hormones, I got out of that deep, dark depth, and I said to myself, you know, you had said that, you know, you had so much fun online dating, there's so many people out there, you know, this was, you said even before meeting Ryan, like, I was like, I don't have a perspective. Like it literally shift my consciousness around online dating. Cause I had online dated in the past, maybe like five years before that, but I'm just, I'm a very kind of a private person. And like, it's just, you know, you just think of it as like mainstream, you know, but I'll change, you change my perspective on it. So what I knew was that. I wanted to open up to love and that's what I wanted and that I was getting in my own way of this, this ability to meet. Well, first I was like, I don't want to be taken out on a date. That was like my initial thing was like, I want to be taken out on a date. I want to feel good. Like I feel good now I had gotten out of that depth. And so I'm like, I'm going to, you know, go online. I'm like, like Ray did. I'm like, she found her man. Why can't I? And I was really going to date, but to also be like, I am going to ask, like, if I'm going to ask for what I want, I have to be able to get out of my own way. And I, I want love. So why can't it come from here? That was like my dialogue I was having was from myself. And so I went online and there was like a few different guys. And so then. I met the person that I'm with now, which is nobody that I would have ever chosen. If he wasn't online, like I would have never chosen this person because I shifted away from choosing a certain type of guy that I thought was the type of guy that I needed, or, you know, there was, there was a lot of different reasons why I chose the relationships that was in, in, as I moved this huge shift in my life, I knew that, you know, some of the main things was like, Someone that doesn't need to be taken care of, you know, how you were saying, Orion's like that doesn't need to be taken care of, has like stability, has their heart open, doesn't need to be as spiritual as me. My partner is definitely not, but obviously connected. You know, so we, we met in the beginning, we went on like one or two dates and I wasn't sure just because his communication was a little bit, a little different, but he's a hundred percent my person and it'll be July 15th. It'll be a year and I can't believe it. Like, and it's, it's, it has given me like. I like cry like I sometimes just like I'm getting tears in my eyes right now. Actually. I'm like, no, it's it's in. I love that. I met him online actually, because in he, you know, he had been online dating, but we say like, what, like, what are the chances that we would find each other? And we did, but I think the main thing was like, I got out of my way. And I'm like, if I want love, I have to claim that. And who am I to shame? You know, I like I had shame that like, I wasn't, you know, like some things weren't perfect in my life that I needed to fix before, you know, or like that I was, you know, it's like, Oh, every, all the good ones are taken. It was making up all these stories when a lot of women have shame for even wanting it and desiring it. It's like, why? I mean, that's something that I changed. I was just like, well, wait, like I do want a relationship and I was open to like go on dates too, but You, it was a, and I told you that it was a hundred percent when I heard you say that it just changed my perspective and yeah. And you know, I love him and it's like the, but it's like the most healing relationship and it's, you know, it's totally not someone that I would have like picked before and we're a total pair now. So yeah, I love it. And like it's same Ryan is not anybody I would have picked before, but because I wasn't ready for that. And he was great. Yeah. He went through a lot of his own chaos and really things. And so it's like, you know, I feel like it's just all this, all of the other relationships were, like you said, the initiation to keep growing, keep evolving. And you can, Like either choose to continue to move forward and, and work on yourself and your inner role to not attract that again, or co create with those dynamics again. And sometimes you might pull them in again at a different experience, but it's like up to us to say, you know, what's in this for me and, and release what's not there. And every time it's just getting you closer and closer to this, like really amazing dynamic. And I also feel like so much of what we said about like coming home to ourselves is like, Knowing that like your life does not have to be perfect to create an aligned, an aligned relationship, you know? And the other thing is like a really healthy masculine wants a fucking woman. Yeah. Who is, can lean back, is not in control, that doesn't need him, that knows she's gonna be okay, not in a hyper independence way, but knows that she's gonna be okay with or without him, but that this, like, union actually creates a beautiful autonomy, like, that is, like, in this autonomous way, but is Beautiful unity at the same time and to me is like when we come home to ourselves in that way, we're in our power and that's what is really sexy to a healthy masculine, you know, a hundred percent. Yeah. I mean, he says that about me all the time. Like he, You know, his pattern before was choosing, you know, women that needed to be like a little bit of a project. Yeah. Yeah. And help in some way, but he moved through the big transformations. And so, yeah, I mean, I think, you know, you don't have to be perfect and Yeah. I mean, just, just to be open to want to receive, right. Like that's that there's so many men that want to give to, to women in a, in a healthy way. And for us to walk around and pretend like, Oh, I'm 45 or 40, whatever age you are. And to say like, I have shame because I'm not with someone. It's like, No, like own it. And like your heart, like your heart is still young. Like you are still young, like just open up and just say, I'm ready now. And if you're not ready, then it's not maybe there for reason. I mean, I know we're going off on a tangent relationship, but I think it's all. Like it is all relevant to everything that we're talking about because a hundred percent this relationship would not have showed up in my life, like two or three years, I had to move through some stuff, you know, physically, emotionally, in my psyche, let some things go. And yeah, I mean, just being very recently, I'm just like, wow, I'm on a totally different timeline now. Totally. Different and you know, and I'm everything isn't, you know, it's going to be the same forever. I could probably go through some big deep change who knows when, you know, next year or two years, but I'm just, you know, I'm open to change and I feel like strong and structured and open and luscious and loved and beautiful and you're glowing. Yeah. Yeah. Like you're so beautiful. I mean, your hair, everything. It's like, I actually just got a cut. So I thought so. I was like, I think she got a cut. I don't know how to style my hair like this or take the time to, Oh my gosh. So you work with people one to one and how do people find you, connect with you? Because. Erin actually helps women with all of this and beyond even just the hormones, like supplements, like different ways of balancing the body and supporting the body. So where can people find you connect with you? Yeah. So I work with women one on one and my sessions are a full protocol. So it really gets a chance to tell your story, you know, to connect the dots. And, um, you know, I, I do have a very life specific, but hormone specific, and then you, I give you a whole protocol. I'm very active on Instagram. That's probably more, you know, my website definitely needs some updating, but you can find me on Instagram at well and wise woman. My website, I do have a website there. It's well and wise woman. Dot com and there's uh, a way to connect me with me through email Um, I also am on facebook. I do, you know, I do get a lot of clients through there So you can just message me either on one of those socials or email me at well and wise woman at gmail. com I give a free 15 minute just see if we're You know with some of your stuff that you want to work on and then we we go from there Um And yeah, so that's what I'm doing now. Hopefully, maybe in the next year, I do want to do sort of a perimenopause course, basically, which would synopsis, like give a synopsis of everything that we just talked about. What's so funny? Cause I was just thinking like, she needs to be doing this, like business coaching vision is on. I know. I was like. Well, cause I see your Saturn in the 11th and Mars there and that's all communities and groups. It just feels hard because it's Saturn, but it's like, it feels like, how can I do this? But it's so for you. And I'm like, Oh, there's something here coming and there's something more birthing, but you've been, you know, moving through the relationship and things like that. And there'll be a season for it. I feel like it's. Not far off. It just feels like that. It'll be soon. There's, um, you know, I work with a supplement company, a practitioner based supplement company. Um, it's kind of a new I've done that. It's a newer job. But the reason why I'm bringing that up is I just wanted, I, as well as working with women one on one, I wanted an even more income to, um, pay off a little bit of debt and just take care of that part of my life again, like I'm bringing that out because I get to do both. Like I get to have a business as an entrepreneur and I get to work with a company that I really like. And I know soon I'm also, you know, going to be able to put more energy and life. You know, back into my business, but it feels really aligned for me right now, just to be able to, you know, still taking care of the things that I'm doing and I'm focusing on my relationship and, um, yeah, but definitely that's my next, uh, offering is the, is the perimetal puzzle course, but between now and then, um, women can work with me one on one. Awesome. Well, thank you so much, Aaron. You're amazing. You know, I'm so glad you're here and sharing this, all of this. I learned a lot today. You're like the, when you asked me to be on the podcast, I was so happy because the, you, you, the, the weaving of all of it is perfect because you're so right there with me. And yeah, I love your work. I appreciate you as very much. Thank you so, so much. And I will drop all the links below for everybody to connect with Aaron. Hey, untamed listeners, I am so appreciative that you took time out of your day to spend with me. I hope you enjoyed this podcast as much as I did, and I would love your support for this podcast. I would be so appreciative of a positive review. This helps promote the podcast. and push up the algorithm. So more people can find me as a special thanks. When you leave a review, take a screenshot of the review and send it to me to at Ray radiant vibes on Instagram. I will send you a 20 percent coupon code that is good for any single session or a 200 discount for my clarify and embody mentorship containers. Yep, that's right. You heard it right here. Thank you so much for being a part of my world and I'll see you next time